You can contact me at alphafemmesf [at] gmail [dot] com. Some posts are password-protected; please email me or use the contact form to get the password! I give it out for free, no strings attached. They are protected not because they are secrets from *you* but because they are secrets from *search engines.* :)
This blog is a personal chronicling of many sorts of things, generally related to things queer, things feminist-progressive, things sexy, things kinky, and/or things relationship-y. Occasionally, I dither in cooking, fashion, mental health, family, work/school, and assorted other sundry topics. Basically what I’m saying is, I write a whole lot of random posts on possibly incongruent things. I blame it on the fact that I live in San Francisco, which, with its over-abundance of stimulation, encourages a certain level of schizophrenic living. I also blame it on life, which has a way of being random and incongruent, even when you’re trying to make it all fit together. Oh well.
Just to orient you a bit to your surroundings here, I’ll tell you a few pertinent tidbits about myself:
I am in my twenties, currently a full-time graduate student in anthropology and a part-time librarian. I identify as a queer femme, and you can see this post and this post for more on that. I am in a committed relationship with my lady, who has gone by various things over the past few years but seems now to have stuck with “ML.” We started fooling around in the fall of 2008 and it just sort of stuck, and here we are now. She’s not butch. I do love me some butches though, and I derive a lot of my ownership of Femme from the traditional Butch/Femme discourse. I tend to be attracted to queers who are transgressively-gendered in some generally transmasculine way.
Things I like include: sex, kink, books, lists, cooking, baking, organizing things, playing piano, shoes, fishnets, burlesque, make-up, social justice, meaningful conversations, San Francisco, Berlin, chocolate, fretting, tea, cats, sunshine, the ocean, self-care, logic, wine, baths, roadtrips. Among others.
You will see links on my site to Good Vibrations, Babeland, and Amazon.com; I belong to the affiliate programs of all three. This means that I will earn a (tiny) commission on anything you buy on any of those sites if you get to the site through my banners or links. I do this not to make a profit, but to try to offset the cost of having this website without having paid advertisements. So far, I have earned exactly $8.97 in commission. Keeping this website, in contrast, has cost me so far approximately $485. It obviously makes me very happy when people make a purchase through my links, but by no means do I ever intend to be duplicitous about it, and I will never endorse a product for the sake of earning commission. You can count on me to always be transparent.
If you somehow manage to a) find my blog, and b) relate to my writings, please do say hi. I promise I won’t bite.
Unless you want me to … ;)
My Favorite Stuff
If you’re new, or if you just want to take a look at some of my favorite stuff from the past few years, here’s a round-up of some of my writing here that is my favorite and/or that best exemplifies what I use and have used this space for (they’re in chronological order from early to present):
Funny friends (my very first post here ever)
On femininity (early rumblings of my coming into femme identity)
Occupying power (on figuring out how to strap on, after having been with ML for a few months)
A hundred thousand pieces (on struggling with vulnerability)
Crash and burn (in the middle of training to be a rape crisis counselor, and trying to figure out how to implement healing in my own life)
Fucking in the mirror (caution: not safe for work ;))
Femme (in)visibility (this one! is one of my favorites!)
Bringing sex out of the bedroom (pretty self-evident, I should think)
Allyship (in his final comment at the bottom, Blaise nicely sums up what my point is!)
Sexual violence, part I (one of my grittiest and also best pieces of writing, I think)
Thank god for orgasms (on dealing with sex/triggers as a rape survivor)
Missed connections & Missed connections: update (read both! an awesome little story)
Femmes, femininity and hair (what it sounds like)
Dear Abby (another really favorite bit of writing)