Comments on: difficult decisions

By: note to mi’lady: DO NOT READ THIS POST if you want to be surprised on Christmas. « alphafemme

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:45:54 +0000

[...] comments, both on this post wishing me and mi’lady happiness together after one year, and on this one, offering suggestions and advice and sympathy on my work and life situation. All of those comments [...]

By: G

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 02:31:59 +0000

I’m in a very similar position. I’m in the corporate, safe, boring and completely passionless job. It definitely has its pros, like a steady paycheck and health benefits in an economic downturn. But I also want to do something that inspires me. I’m definitely plotting and using my current job to keep me stable (financially AND mentally – I don’t do well without some structure) until it’s time. I just trust that I’ll know when that is.

I’d say just keep checking in with yourself. Know what you want and make the plan to get it. It sounds like you already know what some of your limitations or tendencies are, and that’s a good start.

By: Genna

Genna — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:26:49 +0000

I quit one of my half-jobs in October and have been loving life all the more since. Of course, I have the boyfriend helping to support me. He’s got a more than full time job that he loves, and we were able to determine that, with him working as much as he was and loving every minute, I could afford to work a little less. This has given me time to reconnect with myself and I have a hard time remembering when I was last so generally cheerful. Of course, I’ve got that security cushion of the guy’s income, so I can’t say how that applies to your situation.

Here’s what I would do if I were you: see if you get into a grad school. If you do, quit your job and use the intervening time to discover yourself. If you don’t, go look for a Plan, something you really want to do and, once you figure that out, quit your job and use the time to further your Plan. Meanwhile, live as carefully as you can and keep socking money away into savings. If you’re really miserable, see if they’d be willing to let you cut back your hours a bit.

By: effingdykes

effingdykes — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:24:50 +0000

You can’t hate your job.

Money worries are no fun, and can wake you up in the middle of the night, but so can knowing you have. to. go. in. again on Monday. And the Monday after that. And the Monday after that.

How can we be content with a few weeks a year and only having Real Lives on the weekends?

Your life is too big to fit into the cracks between workdays at a job you hate.

Unless the perks are really, really good.

By: theitidentityandme

theitidentityandme — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 22:05:59 +0000

I’m not going to be as philosophical or make as much sense as anybody else here, but that’s alright.

I’ve recently got out of this situation myself, and even though I’m scraping by with my money and am facing huge bills in the coming year I feel so free. It’s hard to live without any real income for a time but I think it’s even harder to work a job that you aren’t passionate about.

I don’t know if it’s the right choice for you but I say, be selfish. If it’s not got the magic, leave it and try to find that magic. Sue, you might not have a constant flow of money coming in but you’d be amazed by how little you can actually live on.

But it is your decision, but the way I see it: Life’s too short to being doing something you don’t enjoy.

Anyway if you left your job you might find opportunities in the word that you never knew where there.

- Cal.

P.S. I think I failed in the not-making-sense part. Damn parents are beginning to rub off on me.

By: greg

greg — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 16:14:10 +0000

Ah, the crossroads. They are so damn daunting, aren’t they? I’m a believer that when you need to move, you will know it. You will feel an overwhelming push in the direction in which you need to go. Don’t worry too much about the when or the what, it will come when it’s time. The everyday is the the stuff that life is made up of and it’s important to focus on not letting the future get in the way of the here and now. Let go just a little.

By: aneke

aneke — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 07:02:35 +0000

Oh this is a hard one.

I’m always annoyingly realistic with stuff like this, and the money part would be a huge worry for me… but I think life is too short to spend such a big part of it doing something you hate.

By: kalisisrising

kalisisrising — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 00:36:02 +0000

You know what? You take one decision at a time. You do what is best for right now and if you change your mind, you change your mind and you deal with it then. I left my homestate last year, last July, to pursue a career and a relationship with a woman I really loved. I thought moving would solve my legal troubles with my ex regarding custody and I needed to step out on my own. I did that. For six months. The day he attacked me I realized I needed to make a different decision.

So I did.

And that led me to other, great and awesome experiences. Yes, I have a history of depression, but I also know that living for today, this moment is most important and I have to find happiness in the now.

There is no wrong decision.

Only a better decision down the road.

Good luck.

By: laura luna

laura luna — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 23:57:36 +0000

If you find the answer, please let me know. I too deal with this…I have the good paying, good benefits corporate job and I didn’t finish college, so starting back from the bottom if I fail is not something I would want to do.

I dream of being some fancy pants housewife. My grrl/boi has Congressional aspirations…by the time that manifests, I will be in my 50′s (or so)…early retirement is an option :)

*happy holidays*
-ll

By: teenagegeek

teenagegeek — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 22:49:04 +0000

Jesus.

Good luck man.

I’m too young to offer any proper advice of stuff like that – maybe do teh costs/benefits table my counsellor told me about.

Write down all that yo stand to lose and all you stand to gain from each option on a piece of paper and weigh them out.

Then write down the best and worst possible outcome for each situation.

I use it for loads of stuff – school stuff mostly if I’m honest, but one of my friends used it to help in a relationship – she couldn’t pick between two guys.

I’m not very helpful, sorry.

Bless.

http://lunckyinc.wordpress.com/