Comments on: divorce http://alphafemme.net/2009/11/16/divorce/ Femme in all its forms. Fri, 10 Sep 2010 05:01:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: G http://alphafemme.net/2009/11/16/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-205 G Mon, 23 Nov 2009 03:31:05 +0000 http://alphafemme.wordpress.com/?p=276#comment-205 Divorce is such a tough thing. Your lessons are right on, and I think everyone can learn from them. Don't forget to do what it takes to support yourself through all of this, too. You WILL be okay. Divorce is such a tough thing. Your lessons are right on, and I think everyone can learn from them.

Don’t forget to do what it takes to support yourself through all of this, too. You WILL be okay.

]]> By: alphafemme http://alphafemme.net/2009/11/16/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-204 alphafemme Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:32:20 +0000 http://alphafemme.wordpress.com/?p=276#comment-204 thanks greg :) I think you must be the most supportive commenter on the whole entire Internet. you're always so affirming. thank you so much for that. you don't even know how much it means! thanks greg :) I think you must be the most supportive commenter on the whole entire Internet. you’re always so affirming. thank you so much for that. you don’t even know how much it means!

]]> By: alphafemme http://alphafemme.net/2009/11/16/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-203 alphafemme Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:26:12 +0000 http://alphafemme.wordpress.com/?p=276#comment-203 I think the part I need to hold on to in your comment there is "you will all be a better family because of it." it's hard to remember that, whatever ends up happening, we are still a family. it's easy to look at it as though they're tearing our family apart, with this divorce. but they don't have that power, you're right -- whatever they do, they've created lives and they can't undo that. we're still a family. thanks for that reminder. I think the part I need to hold on to in your comment there is “you will all be a better family because of it.”

it’s hard to remember that, whatever ends up happening, we are still a family. it’s easy to look at it as though they’re tearing our family apart, with this divorce. but they don’t have that power, you’re right — whatever they do, they’ve created lives and they can’t undo that. we’re still a family.

thanks for that reminder.

]]> By: alphafemme http://alphafemme.net/2009/11/16/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-202 alphafemme Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:22:36 +0000 http://alphafemme.wordpress.com/?p=276#comment-202 wow, yeah, that's tough. I'm trying to not let it have too much of an impact on my relationship, meaning, I don't want to suddenly withdraw from her or anything, just because of my parents' relationship. I do wish I had more positive models of successful, long-term relationships in my life though. it's just so scary to be young and trying to make a life and see everyone else's around yours crumbling. but mi'lady is definitely there for me and she really allows me to feel it in my core, too. sometimes I have a hard time accessing what I feel, except when I look at her... wow, yeah, that’s tough. I’m trying to not let it have too much of an impact on my relationship, meaning, I don’t want to suddenly withdraw from her or anything, just because of my parents’ relationship. I do wish I had more positive models of successful, long-term relationships in my life though. it’s just so scary to be young and trying to make a life and see everyone else’s around yours crumbling.

but mi’lady is definitely there for me and she really allows me to feel it in my core, too. sometimes I have a hard time accessing what I feel, except when I look at her…

]]> By: greg http://alphafemme.net/2009/11/16/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-201 greg Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:39:12 +0000 http://alphafemme.wordpress.com/?p=276#comment-201 I love the way you wrote this. You're going through such a strange and difficult time yet you're taking so much from it. Never stop doing that. ::hugs:: I love the way you wrote this. You’re going through such a strange and difficult time yet you’re taking so much from it. Never stop doing that. ::hugs::

]]> By: Jen http://alphafemme.net/2009/11/16/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-200 Jen Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:11:25 +0000 http://alphafemme.wordpress.com/?p=276#comment-200 Breakups and divorce: not a pleasant thing, especially in the beginning, even if it is for the best. I'm glad to see you are handling it as best as you can and figuring out as much as you can for your own healing. I hope your parents are happy in the end - and ultimately, you will all be a better family because of it. I love lesson #6. It has taken me lots of heartbreak and hard lessons to figure this one out for myself. But true it is. Breakups and divorce: not a pleasant thing, especially in the beginning, even if it is for the best. I’m glad to see you are handling it as best as you can and figuring out as much as you can for your own healing.

I hope your parents are happy in the end – and ultimately, you will all be a better family because of it.

I love lesson #6. It has taken me lots of heartbreak and hard lessons to figure this one out for myself. But true it is.

]]> By: Esmeralda http://alphafemme.net/2009/11/16/divorce/comment-page-1/#comment-199 Esmeralda Tue, 17 Nov 2009 07:19:26 +0000 http://alphafemme.wordpress.com/?p=276#comment-199 I am sorry to hear about your parent's divorce...my gf parents also got a divorce this year and it was very hard on her...he moms (Yes, mothers, they were lesbians) had been together for 28 years and JUST had a baby boy less than a year before they got a divorce....but this was because one of them step out of the marriage and had an affair... When my gf and I first met we talked about our families and she was so happy that her moms had been together for so long and told me that she wanted what her mothers had, but she wanted it to be her own...and when everything happened she fell apart and it fell into our relationship and she questioned whether it would possible for her and I to make our relationship work when the model she had for a loving relationship just went to shit... It was incredibly hard, and still is...the relation ship with her Mom (the one who stepped out of the marriage) is horrible...her Mom said some horrible things and did horrible things to my gf and it is just a big pool of animosity... I am happy that you are coping well with the situation and I hope that you don't push her away... It was really hard to try and get my gf to understand that what affects her also affects me, and that when she has a bad day, I have a bad day too...when her parents got a divorce and she went through all of that craziness I did too because I was with her through it all and I felt it, I saw what it did to her and I saw how bad it was for her to deal with and I dealt with her BEING like that...so I went through it too... So I hope that you know that you don;t have to go through the bad times alone..especially when there is someone that loves you that wants to be there for you...even if is to listen to you complain about it, cry about it or just sulk about it... I am sorry to hear about your parent’s divorce…my gf parents also got a divorce this year and it was very hard on her…he moms (Yes, mothers, they were lesbians) had been together for 28 years and JUST had a baby boy less than a year before they got a divorce….but this was because one of them step out of the marriage and had an affair…

When my gf and I first met we talked about our families and she was so happy that her moms had been together for so long and told me that she wanted what her mothers had, but she wanted it to be her own…and when everything happened she fell apart and it fell into our relationship and she questioned whether it would possible for her and I to make our relationship work when the model she had for a loving relationship just went to shit…

It was incredibly hard, and still is…the relation ship with her Mom (the one who stepped out of the marriage) is horrible…her Mom said some horrible things and did horrible things to my gf and it is just a big pool of animosity…

I am happy that you are coping well with the situation and I hope that you don’t push her away…

It was really hard to try and get my gf to understand that what affects her also affects me, and that when she has a bad day, I have a bad day too…when her parents got a divorce and she went through all of that craziness I did too because I was with her through it all and I felt it, I saw what it did to her and I saw how bad it was for her to deal with and I dealt with her BEING like that…so I went through it too…

So I hope that you know that you don;t have to go through the bad times alone..especially when there is someone that loves you that wants to be there for you…even if is to listen to you complain about it, cry about it or just sulk about it…

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